Author: healsweethome
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What Do the Epstein Files Represent?
by Ignacio G. Hutía Xeiti Rivera Years ago, I would have consumed everything. I would have read every document, watched every interview, memorized every timeline. I would have become an expert in the horror. I know why. I needed to take control of what once felt uncontrollable. Sexual abuse and sexual violence were not abstract…
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When missiles land in my heart
On Iran war & devastation Hi friends, I write to you from a place called devastation. Ten days and I ache with every breath as bombs drop on Iran, where my family and relatives live. Stages of grief rage through my body; tears drop at every hint of privacy, my heart pretzels with horror, my…
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Breaking up with consent
On play parties & disillusionment Hi friends, my heart has been tender lately. How about yours? I think I am going through a mid-career crisis. A few weeks back, I attended a new-to-me play party. Because in a world where sex is deemed inherently exploitative, being present in spaces where sex is neutral, normal, and…
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Dying to be reborn
On dancing & leaving the body Hi friends, it is Spring and time for weather changes and rebirth. Except that change can be hard, and welcoming change with an open heart is a motherfucker. My life is going through a big change: I am moving in with a partner. Truth is, as much as I…
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Fingering the ick of sexual trauma
On the healing power of fantasy Hi friends, how was your summer? Mine was a whirlwind. So much so that for a good chunk of it my libido was hibernating. Turns out sexual joy is a luxury that survival mode cannot afford. So I was pleasantly surprised when I found myself deep in the ravine…
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Mother math has words of wisdom
On game theory & winning life Hello friends, have you heard of Game Theory? It is a mathematical study – using games as an analogy – to see how people behave and strategize when playing. For example, during the Cold War, Game Theory gained popularity since both the Soviet Union and the US engaged in…
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Practicing appreciation for the hurt ego
On toddlers & trees Hi friends, have you ever spent time around a toddler? If so, you are probably familiar with the joyful light they emanate. Well, this isn’t a story about that. A few months back, an acquaintance and I made plans for a walk. As I arrived, her 2-year-old opened his eyes from…
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Foraging curiosity not mushrooms
On allowing for new possibilities Hi friends, have I ever told you that I am in love with the land I live on? I don’t own land, but I am pretty sure rural New England owns me. And for us, foraging is what some people call ‘foreplay’. If you are a forager, you know that…
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Sewing pain into pride
On moms & reclaiming the body Heya, how’s your spring going? I don’t know about you, but with spring, I often get an urge for zhuzhing up my nest. So this year, I decided to sew a few zafus, or meditation pillows. I figured it adds good vibes and also delivers on my commitment to…
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A few psychedelic popcorn
On consciousness & survivorship Hello there, if you are still reading these, yay! Perhaps, tell your friends to subscribe to this newsletter, so they know exactly what kind of a weirdo you are. After all, there are many ways to come out. Speaking of coming out, I am a psychonaut. I access altered states of…