On game theory & winning life
Hello friends, have you heard of Game Theory? It is a mathematical study – using games as an analogy – to see how people behave and strategize when playing.
For example, during the Cold War, Game Theory gained popularity since both the Soviet Union and the US engaged in the strategy of expanding their nuclear arsenal despite it being costly and dangerous for everyone involved.
Now, you might be like, “da fuck Game Theory has to do with healing?” Well, Lord gave us the internet so that when life gets rough, we can jump into its abyss and forget shit for a while. Shit’s been rough. Everything is connected. And, you are welcome.
That is all to say, yes, I fell into a Game Theory rabbit hole and came out with two main takeaways:
- If playing the game once, play as selfishly as possible. Basically, be viscous, fuck trust.
- But, if playing the game more than once – which is most games we play – say, building a relationship, play nice unless provoked.
Then, respond to the situation/conflict immediately and proportionately, be ready to forgive and move on, be consistent in your play, and every once in a while, forgive extra.
Whew. Here I am patting myself on the shoulder for working to learn how to show up in relationships through fine tuning my intuition, keeping up with boundary work, practicing effective and timely communication, rebuilding trust, and embracing acceptance, and then math glosses over and goes, “obviously.”
Unsurprisingly, simulations show that in an unsuitable environment, an individual is likely gonna lose no matter how well they play. To me, that affirms the impact of systems and the inherent unfairness of the many games people have to play.
But the plot thickens. Apparently, when a group of individuals play well together, as in cooperate and support each other, they gain so much advantage that empowers them to change the environment for the better over time. To be precise, a long-ass time.
This is so true, that it is believed evolution has coded cooperation into the DNA of living beings. Organisms know everyone is better off when cooperating because none of us has to interact with the world just once. So basically, nature is a dirty socialist. Yum.
But there is a big idea here: what if instead of centering our own lives, we were to re-identify with the web of life and weave ourselves into its cooperative fabric?
What if our best “selfish” decision is also one that serves a higher purpose?
To me, this isn’t really an exercise in altruism. This is mother math confirming the wisdom of our ancestors and telling us that our most rational bet for winning the game of life is supporting each other.
PS: If you haven’t yet, use the code “HEAL” for $65 off when you register for Sex Down South. We will be offering two exciting programs: Sex Speak, AND Sexy Survivor: Leaning into Fun & Playfulness
PSS: If you missed Ignacio’s keynote at Maine Fungi Fest, you can now watch the recording on Youtube titled Consent, Community, Psychedelics